Page by: J Parker
Im A Celebrity is a TV game show, shot
in the jungle on Australia's east coast,
in Queensland, about 50 miles south of
The UK version of the show, is
presented by two little people from the
north, as seen right. The little people
have been accused of being cheeky little
f---ers, by many of the contestants.
Many of the contestants are celebrities
looking for a boost to their image, at a stage
in their career where they either want to try
something different, or are just looking for
some TV or advertising work.
The show has made many celebrities rich, and
made sure some would never work again, it can
be that brutal.
If you are a really nice person, they may
edit the footage to promote you as such, if you
have any strange afflictions, they will
ridicule you for days, to the extent you will
be too ashamed to go back to your own
The little people excel in that role, to the
extent, some contestants, such as the
footballer John Fashanu, aka Fash The Bash,
pledged the next balls he would kick, would be
those of the little people from the north.
The first show was the best, as the
contestants didn't have a clue what they were
letting their selves in for. Cameras were
everywhere, taking footage 24 hours a day.
Most contestants were gob smacked when they
emerged from the jungle, as they then saw the
footage that had been edited and fed to the
nation, showing them to be over paid,
All contestants since, have had to go in
with a bit of a game plan, to avoid people
seeing the real them, as happened to the
hapless bunch of guinea pigs in the first
One of the best ways to get votes, is to get
the job of camp cook, this greatly enhances
your chance of winning, as long as you don't
poison everyone, as Rosemary Shrager almost
done in 2012, after mixing raw meet with their
dessert. Or kill and eat a rat as chef Gino
D'Acampo done in 2009. The British Consulate
had a hard time keeping Gino out of an Ausie
Looking busy at times can help, such as
collecting the campfire logs. In 2002, Tony
Blackburn won the first series after becoming
obsessed with collecting logs. He collected so
many, and stacked them up around the fire,
there were real concerns he could have wiped
out half of Eastern Australia with a bush fire.
Every year since, there are only enough logs
scattered around the camp each day, to last for
The young girls tend to take in a few skimpy
bikinis, take many showers, and wear them in
any water based trials. The two little perves
from the north love the water based trials with
young women, keeping a close eye on the
contestants, to make sure they are not
Romance between young guys and girls can
lead to many votes as well, such as Jordan, aka
Katie Price proved in 2004, with lamb to the
slaughter, aka Peter Andre.
Best avoid married guys though, such as Marc
Bannerman who had an affair on set with Cerys
Matthews in 2007, while Bannerman's wife was
watching from the hotel just down the road.
Awkward situation to say the least.
Having a young child is a great way to get
votes, just talk about them all the time and
cry your eyes out as much as possible, such as
worked for East Enders Charlie Brooks in
Acting scared of the jungle creatures is a
great way to stand out from the rest, and
fainting gets you noticed as well, such as
Gillian McKeith's oscar nominated effort in
Screaming in fear all the time is also a
vote winner, such as the squirming royal butler
Paul Burrel in 2004, and the petrified East
Ender Dean Gaffney in 2006.
Gaffney was definitely not putting it on, as
nobody from East Enders can act like that,
Leonardo DiCaprio would have struggled.